? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
