So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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