Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
