Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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