He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
