Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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