hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
