He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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