put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
