peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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