Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Enjoy the penises
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
