did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize