i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
