Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
