We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
