Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
