I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
