if you like me you must not know who I am
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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