Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
