stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I believe in your delicious
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
