fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Randomize
