Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
