I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
