Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
nutella sex= disaster
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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