im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
