Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
