either way he was missing a nipple.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize