i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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