I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
