I can text with my tongue
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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