we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
