woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
