Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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