So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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