Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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