he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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