Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
