I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
