just tell him i said nine months
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
