She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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