State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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