I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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