google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
