i think my mom watched the whole time
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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