you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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