There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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