You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
