The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
