There was a lot of him and a little penis
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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