ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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