she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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