I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
