Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
