i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Houston, we have a squirter
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
