How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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