fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
