All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize