your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
