Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
