We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
