you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
