You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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