Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
