I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
