Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
