1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Pappa wants mamma naked
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize