yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
