Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
