God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
